YGRG (Dorota Gawęda & Egle Kulbokaite), Young-Girl, I Did Love You Once, 2015
1 of 4 promotional video clips, approx. 2 min.
Young Girl, I did love you once.
Being in love was like, uhm, a stress-relieving drug.
I wanted to be desired lovelessly. You know, I wanted to be loved for who I am—meaning that I wanted to be loved for the non-being that I was.
Certainly and entirely I immersed myself in the corporeal, the somatic.
The affects I was producing were immaterial. My feelings were made up of signs, and sometimes just of simple signals. Such affective production, exchange, and communication that I have learned to associate with human contact, with the presence of another, but that contact could have been either actual or virtual. I have had enough concrete about me to not succumb to the metaphysical feeling of my own nothingness.
You see, in the production and reproduction of affects, in those networks of culture and communication, collective subjectivities were produced and sociality was produced.
What we produced were social networks, forms of community and biopower. We were only the model citizens, the highest point of alienated socialization, where the most socialized was also the most social.
And yes, I did say: You make me happy.
You should have never forgotten: I loved you but I also chose you.
Well perhaps, I didn’t love, I loved myself loving.
And the Young-Girl suffers.
Actors: Dorota Gawęda, Tom Hastings, Joshua Höareau, Egle Kulbokaite, Isabelle Kågelius, Fritz Marlon Schiffers, Emmy Skensved, Gabor Szabo
Clothing: CALYPT, Berlin
Music: Brooklyn Bridge
Camera & Editing: Luis Artemio De Los Santos